To practice radical acceptance:
* Accept situations as they are.
* Recognize what’s in your control and not.
* Lose the judgement over your situation.
* Practice living in the present moment despite our pain.
Finally!! The time had come. It was officially Friday and all the anticipation over the past week was going to come to an end.
It was date night.
Liz had been having a run of bad luck in relationships over the past couple of years. Who was she kidding, even calling them relationships was a far stretch in the truth. What she really had was a string of conversations and false promises from guys who were well below her standards because she should have a better chance of success with these kind of guys, right? Ha!
See, Liz is by no means ugly. Her pleasant round face boasted smooth and blemish free skin, full lips and warm looking almond shaped eyes. But let’s face it: she wasn’t a fashion model. She was short and shaped like an apple instead of the society-desired hour glass. Which is why when the package courier who delivered to her office building smiled and winked at her one day last week she was hesitant to respond.
What was that about?
Why would he wink at her?
Then the shocking happened after the smile and wink, he started talking to her; no, he was flirting!! Asking what perfume she wore and saying she smelled a lot better than the delivery truck he drove around in all day. She couldn’t believe it. So much so that she wasn’t all that interactive with him because she kept thinking, “Something must be up. Why is he acting this way?”
She was even more baffled when he came back the next day without a delivery but a cup of coffee instead and invited her to dinner.
And that was how she found herself excitedly anticipating Friday night, date night, all week with a barrage of thoughts and questions running through her mind.
Was he attracted to her?
Did he choose her because he thought she would be a sure thing?
What made him interested in her?
She didn’t think she looked like his type but what was his type?
These questions carried on well into the night throughout her date. In fact, she spent so much time having an internal conversation about her date, she didn’t have much to say and was suspicious of everything he said. And then it was over and she was left thinking, “What just happened?” All that excitement over an event she couldn’t even enjoy.
Have you ever had a Liz moment? Unable to accept that something good could happen to you? Possibly because you are stuck in the pain of the past. There must be an ulterior motive for someone’s interest in you. What if you just accepted that you have amazing attributes that would benefit anyone who was honored to get to know you? That even the characteristics you are so critical of serve a purpose in your life and relationships.
See we all experience pain, setbacks, disappointments and the hurtful judgement of others. But we don’t have to stay stuck in them, doomed to have “Liz moments,” where we miss out on the potential for something good in our lives.
When you radically accept a painful reality, your thoughts, emotions and behaviors change to make room for whatever pain you went through and for fully experiencing your present reality. This shift creates the opportunity and ability for change.
What painful experience are you holding onto that is making it hard for you to accept and enjoy your present? What’s the first thing you are going to do to start letting go of that painful moment?
Until next time, Be good to yourself and others!
Evaluate your relationships!
Check your thought life!
And, invest in opportunities that increase your quality of life.
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DWL Lifestyle Strategists Weekly Favs
Who doesn't love a home that smells like the seasons? For this reason, Ashley's favorite thing this week represents her love of Fall... the "Cinnamon Broom". Yes, it is a broom made from wood that is infused with cinnamon. It smells amazing and looks so cute as decor. Pick up your cinnamon broom today at your nearest Walmart, Fresh Market and even Amazon.
Joy is in love with Oprah's newest book club pick - The Water Dancer by Ta-Nehisi Coates - because of the intensity surrounding her book pick which is about a gift, a loss, and the way to freedom. Pick it up wherever books or sold (or downloaded).
Patrice’s favorite thing this week is the BEDSHELFIE-The Original Bedside Shelf. A life of relocating has taught her the value of downsizing and living a minimalist life. This shelf frees you from clunky furniture and maximizes the space and functional items you have. It is easily moveable, sturdy and convenient for all your bedside needs. Find yours: Here
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Brought to you by Ashley, Joy and Patrice, your DWL Lifestyle Strategists
Patrice Scott is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who has been working with the active duty military community and their families for the past twelve years. She currently works as a mental health counselor and has an interest in renewing the focus on the concept of family and strengthening bonds. She strives to continue working in the trauma arena on the process of healing and recovery.