Acceptance is simply being aware of the present moment without judgment. If a person can recognize the limits of their own control, then they can tolerate their own thoughts (negative and positive) as well as feelings better. This mindset can allow you to let go of frustration, disappointment, stress, anxiety, regret and false hopes in order to move towards the kind of life you desire to live.
You work too much.
You spend too much time on your physical appearance. You don’t spend enough time on your physical appearance.
You would be pretty if you just lost weight. You have lost so much weight that you look ill.
You need to sleep more. You sleep too much.
There are so many conflicting messages in our world today. Some of it comes from society, and other messages come from the ones we hold dear. You can often feel like you don’t know if you are coming or going.
Am I too much or not enough? Who decides what the perfect balance is or if there even is a perfect balance?
In our quest to define these things we can often be our own worst critics. Beating ourselves up because, “Oh my gosh! I let someone down” or “I ruined things again.” Even if that was never your intent and your decision had nothing to do with anyone else but yourself, it isn’t a great feeling.
But at what point do you just forgive yourself and cut yourself a break? When do you say, I am utterly exhausted trying to please everyone and never meeting the mark completely? When do you focus on pleasing the one person you know for certain that you can?
Some may think this sounds selfish. How dare you think about yourself and not put the feelings of other people first at all times! With thoughts like these, you can easily find yourself in a place where you are always trying to please someone else and you’re unhappy in the process. All twisted up in so many different ways that you don’t know how you feel, what you feel or who you are.
Are you really doing anyone a favor or helping those around you? Are you being authentic in your presentation with other people or are they seeing a false you because you’re so twisted up trying to please everyone else that you don’t even know who you are?
At a certain point you have to stop tripping over your own feet to try to be something that you’re not and just BE.
Become accepting of wanting to do things that feel good and are good for you. Accepting of doing the things that you know make you a better person so that you can be there for others. You short change yourself and those around you when you can’t forgive yourself enough to just be yourself and know that sometimes that is OK. That you are enough, even in all the seemingly imperfect details.
By no means should you ever stop trying to be a better person. Don’t stop trying to change things about yourself that you genuinely feel will improve your overall quality of life or help you get closer to the purpose that is yours. But what if self acceptance helps you achieve both of those things. And by achieving them, you’re a better friend, companion, daughter, mother, sister, wife and leader.
I would argue self acceptance is a sign of emotional growth.
What’s something you would do if you accepted yourself enough to do it?
Would you stay home alone and write that short story others might find silly?
How about start that business that people think is way too risky?
Maybe even stop taking every disagreement as a personal slight against you.
Think about how far you could get without the obstacle of self deprecation. Do something you want to do this month because YOU WANT TO and don’t justify to anyone, especially yourself.
The theme for October is Acceptance. Take some time and share something you accept about yourself that maybe others might not.
Until next time, Be good to yourself and others!
Evaluate your relationships!
Check your thought life!
And, invest in opportunities that increase your quality of life.
DWL Lifestyle Strategists Weekly Favs
Everyone has that friend(s) who always a song on their heart. So, in light of the music lovers, Ashley's favorite thing this week is Spotify, the free version of course. So for all of you music lovers or likers, go ahead and enjoy your favorite fresh beats with the Spotify app!
Joy is a UK show and British actor fanatic. If you have not gone to the movies to check out Downton Abbey, make an appointment for yourself at the cinema to see the masterpiece. And, check out the award-winning show beginning with Season 1 for free on Amazon Prime.
Patrice’s favorite thing is the Ubeesize 8” ring light. This light allows her to be hands free while using her phone as an expensive camcorder. This portable light is perfect for streaming live and recording videos. The brightness is adjustable and changes color for different atmosphere settings. It even works as a selfie stick and has a Bluetooth enabled remote control. A must have if you shoot on social media. Get yours here.
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Brought to you by Ashley, Joy and Patrice, your DWL Lifestyle Strategists
Patrice Scott is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who has been working with the active duty military community and their families for the past twelve years. She currently works as a mental health counselor and has an interest in renewing the focus on the concept of family and strengthening bonds. She strives to continue working in the trauma arena on the process of healing and recovery.