Dear Wednesday: Exposed - What is holding us hostage and how to fight back

Happy blessed new month. The theme for the month of September is – Exposed. Find out more as you read the first Dear Wednesday letter of September 2019 written by Dr. Joy Well.

Dear Wednesday,

I’m going to write something revolutionary, and perhaps a little offensive to some. But as I write this next statement, know that I’m including myself in this enterprise.

Maybe you’re not getting the results you say you want, because you don’t actually believe it is indeed possible to see the realization of what you’ve believed.

You’ve put up a great front. Sometimes I think you want to believe for bigger and better, but here’s the caveat – wanting to believe and actually believing are different.

Walking in that belief with an air of faith is not normal or comfortable. We tend to do the opposite of going all in with belief and then behavior that aligns with the belief. Instead, we inspire ourselves for a small portion of time and then we settle for the same thoughts that keep us in the same place, day after day, month after month; and then years later we continue the repetitive talk about how our mindset needs to shift.

Nothing will change or manifest in your life as you so desire, if you are unwilling to change. Nothing will shift, if you do not first believe the very opportunities you want have the capacity to open to you. The reality is: this means war and this means work, and our flesh would simply rather chill in the patterns it has known.

It’s the unknown that’s feels downright weird, strange, and scary. So scary, in fact, that we are a zero on the risk-taking meter. Our idea of a good time begins with Netflix and ends with scrolling endlessly and aimlessly on social media. We won’t access our own greatness if we continue to consciously or subconsciously hide behind busy work and a false sense of comfort.

Therefore, as I open up this month of Dear Wednesday letters, it’s appropriate that the theme of the month should be aptly entitled, “Exposed.” The dictionary defines “#expose” as “to make something visible by uncovering it.” See, right there, you just had to check your mindset. Your own definition of exposed was probably a tad bit different. The month is about going deep within and exposing the you that is literally bursting at the seams to come forth.

The exposure to more people, places and opportunities is yours when you free yourself from the emotional and psychological jail you locked yourself in when you experienced pain, rejection, self-loathing and began to hide.

So, yes, the hot girl summer is indeed coming to an end. The roles we play for the crowd only heighten the delay toward walking fully in our destiny. Soon the leaves will change and the days will change, but will you begin a process of transition, too? Exposing the deep? Coming out of your hiding place?

This month, your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to do some inner work, and to be truthful about it. Expose some stuff, good and ugly.

We have all been exposed to greatness but have yet to expose the greatness from within. It’s already there – the greatness, the excellence, the authenticity, the love – but you must explore it and expose it. Then you will begin to see the manifestation of your innermost desires. Some of you aren’t ready for this work, and here’s the great news – you don’t have to be ready. Sometimes when you’re ready, you’re late. Start somewhere, but start today.

There’s a world waiting for the real you to emerge out of hiding.

Below are some questions for thought, discussion, and journaling over the next 7 days:

  1. What would your life look like if you dealt with the you that you’ve been hiding? Describe it in detail.

  2. What are some specific ways you would know you were actually making progress in your life?

  3. What is a lie you need to expose right now that may be holding you back from your greatness?

  4. What is a strength that you have that you’ve never told anyone? What held you back from exposing the strength you have identified?

Share this message with a friend or colleague.

Until next time, Be good to yourself and others!

Evaluate your relationships!

Check your thought life!

And, invest in opportunities that increase your quality of life.

Please register for our "Dear Wednesday Life" website, right here.

DWL Lifestyle Strategists Weekly Favs

  • Ashley’s favorite thing is none other than the infamous NAP TIME. Yes, naps can improve brain function and productivity depending on the length and timing of the nap. So, why not take that 20-minute snooze during lunch break or after work to refresh your mind and body.

  • Joy has an absolutely terrific and terribly-expensive wanderlust. One email from or visit to fuels her need for an exotic vacation and increases her desire to travel independently with a carefully curated tour from the amazing travel powers that be of TravelNoire. This article caught her attention recently, probably because she’s a romantic and it warmed her soul to read about love in unusual places… Check out the article here.

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This Dear Wednesday Letter was hand-crafted by Dr. Joy. Dr. Joy Well, mental health clinician, confidence catalyst, professor, and avid researcher is one of the quintessential experts on the connection between the mind, body, and immune system. Her doctoral work explored the experiences of women of color living with autoimmune diseases and how they function and experience the medical community and beyond. Once a shy, small-town girl with big dreams, Joy has found peace and purpose working with women of all ages to develop a fierce, faith-filled identity, personally and professionally. She is a clinician and entrepreneur in mental health private practice, seeing all ages, backgrounds, and gender. In her spare time, she enjoys music, movies and getting into mischief with friends. You can find Dr. Joy on social media @captivatingjoy.

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