But Did You Even Try Though? #DearWednesday

Greetings all. The theme for the month of November is Fear-LESS. What are you currently believing or doing in your life that is promoting more fearlessness, courage or bravery?

Dear Wednesday,

Have you ever been so afraid of an outcome that you didn’t even try or participate? I have.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am not an athlete. While I was an amazing marching band member, I never went out for other sports.

Are you Fearless?

But senior year of high school I had a chance to change that. I attended a new school that year and decided not to try out for band. Later on that semester the schools soccer coach approached me directly and asked if I ever thought about playing soccer.

Now, I must give some preface here, the school I was attending at the time was known for their soccer team and had top-notch players. Many of whom received scholarships after high school.

I looked at the coach and immediately felt a shock of fear and panic in my chest...

I told him no and that I did not want to play.

He looked disappointed and told me to let him know if I changed my mind. I never spoke to or even saw that coach again.

The important part is not about soccer or even scholarships but the reason behind my reaction.

Why was the notion of playing a fun sport nerve-wracking to me?

As I look back, now at the wonderful age of thirty, I realize that I had a fear of fear (aka self sabotage).

Psychology Today wrote:

“One aspect of anxiety disorders can be a tendency to develop a fear of fear. Where most people tend to experience fear only during a situation that is perceived as scary or threatening, those who suffer from anxiety disorders may become afraid that they will experience a fear response. They perceive their fear responses as negative and go out of their way to avoid those responses.”(Read On)

I am not diagnosing anyone with anxiety disorders, but I took away a powerful message from these findings…

Sometimes we allow the thought of (fear, rejection, failure) to make choices for us. We sabotage potential life-giving events or new relationships for the comfort of perceived safety.

So all of my Dear Wednesday readers -- the next time you are presented with an opportunity that scares you, try these steps:

1: Take a breath

2: Recognize the emotion you are feeling (Fear, anxiety, panic, joy, etc.)

3: Ask yourself if this feeling is based on visible facts or predicted pain

4: Make a choice and stick to it.

Remember, if you later realize the choice you made was based on faulty information (i.e. fear) then make a decision to do it differently next time.

Don’t forget:

“Failure is not Fatal, but Hesitation can be.” ~ Nurse Crane, Call the Midwife

So keep moving!

Until next week, with love and fearless courage,

AshleyMarcel (@anwilli7)

“We do not simply exist just for ourselves, our lives are guiding lights for others who are stuck in the dark.” ~Life Quote

Until next time, Be good to yourself and others!

Evaluate your relationships!

Check your thought life!

And, invest in opportunities that increase your quality of life.

This Dear Wednesday Letter was hand-crafted by Ashley Marcel. Ashley Marcel is a lover of people, daughter of God and Public Health advocate. Currently, Ashley is working with students in the medical and dental fields who provide service to the underserved regions in her area. At the same time, she is studying Public Health at Capella University with the goal of working in the area of research. Part of Ashley’s purpose is to help women live fuller, more abundant lives through mentoring, encouragement and health promotion. Contact Ashley Marcel further @anwilli7 on Instagram. #fearless #fearlesswomen #befreeordie #wednesdaywisdom #fear #Faith #purpose #persistence #courage

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